19 LESSONS FROM 19 YEARS

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Hey Guys,

 

I turned nineteen on the eighteenth of December this year. My eighteenth year was probably the most trying period I have faced while simultaneously doubling as a period of great surprises and tear-causing laughter. I stood, I fell, I got up again, I bloomed and today, to commensurate my day, I will be sharing nineteen things I’ve learnt in nineteen years:

  1. People change and that is okay . What you owe yourself is simply to be true to the person that you are.
  2. It is okay to cut people that threaten your peace and happiness out of your life. You owe yourself that much.
  3. Family is everything. Remember this.
  4. Friends are important but they shouldn’t be the bases on which your life should rest lest you sink if they are pulled out from under you.
  5. If you have a good heart, don’t let the world change it. Wear it on a sleeve and do good things for you and not for them.
  6. Give freely. It is more blessed to give than to receive.
  7. Laugh a lot. Learn to speak and appreciate the language of sarcasm.
  8. Bread and Akara at seven am before morning lectures goes a long way.
  9. You should not need any one to make you feel loved.
  10. You can’t get anywhere without God. Don’t kid yourself. He’s the root; You’re the branch. He is your source. If you cut yourself off, best believe you’re going to die, Fam.
  11. We all can’t play sports or engage in any form of exercise and there is nothing to feel guilty about. If the only form of exercise you engage in is climbing the stairs that lead up to the gallery at church every Sunday, then you deserve a medal. You are putting in as much work as befits the level of grace you have and you should be proud.
  12. You are capable of doing more than you think. Do not belittle your abilities.
  13. Listen to Ed Sheeran. He is your emotional support.
  14. You don’t have to conform to society’s expectations. If you are different, please stand out so the rest of us weirdos can find you.
  15. The narrow road or the road less taken usually makes all the difference. Tread it.
  16. It’s okay to start afresh or change your plans. You can pack up and change your course of study or the color of your room’s paint. If it scares you and excites you at the same time, you are probably on the right path.
  17. Ask for help when you need it.
  18. Be strong, for yourself and those you need to be strong for.
  19. It’s alright to cry – even my dad does sometimes.

Bonus Lesson:

-People’s problems aren’t always written on their faces. Respect that people are fighting internal battles of their own and facing demons you can’t see. Be accommodating, be considerate, be kind, take a little of your love and pass it on.

I hope you’ve been able to learn something from what I’ve shared. Tell me something you’ve learned in the years you’ve lived in the comment section. I’d love to know.

Until next time,

Stay Remarkable.

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Family Time 

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This afternoon after lunch,  I was sorely bored. The internet held no appeal and I had no one to chat with on any messaging app. I had no place to go and I also didn’t want to go anywhere because let’s face it,  Sundays afternoons are for sleeping and it was too sunny to even step outside my front door.

Sleep eluded me and I didn’t want to read a book. So,  I cornered my family members into the living room and forced family time upon them.

I collected my brothers’ phones and forced them to pay attention to what I was going to say and do.

This went terribly for a number of reason I will list below:

1. Family time is quite novel in my household. This being the most consequential reason.

2. My brother, Nathan, kept interrupting my monologue to demand his phone.  He had to return a phone call,  he said. I wasn’t being serious right?,  He asked.

3. My youngest brother, David, decided that moment was the best time to work on developing his upper body.  He needed “spacks”  as my mother usually referred to “packs” as. He went further to engage in press ups being able to accomplish five press ups before giving up in a panting heap.

4. My mother, after making use of her car key a minute ago informed us that aforementioned key was no where to be found. This resulted into combined searching where she labeled the fact that her car key was missing after using it a minute ago as being “spiritual”.

The key was located at last on a window sill.  I had given up the search and was lounging on my bed when information reached my quarters. So much for being “spiritual”.

Hopefully, in the near or distant future, family time might actually become a thing.

Maybe very distant future.

How is your Sunday going?

Any fun moments?  Share in the comments section below.

Until next time,

Stay Remarkable

Love, Joe.

Making Friends 101: Lessons from Walo

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Currently listening to: the sound of laughter coming from the surgery in the clinic I work at. 

When the year started, I told myself that I would actively take part in my current relationships and friendships and also make new friends. Six months into the year and yes,  you guessed it, I had made exactly zero friends. 

Then I met Walo. 

Short for: Oluwaloni 

Pronounced: I don’t know  exactly because he says I pronounce it wrongly. (I’m a Kaduna girl,  I’m sorry. I’ll just literally murder his name.)

You know how you meet someone in the most unconventional way and you guys just instantly click and you know that in some alternate universe he’d be the Valerian to your laureline? (I just made a Valerian and the city of a thousand planets reference. Forgive me) Yes?  Well, that reader is the basis of my relationship with Walo. 

(He is most definitely going to read this. Hi,  Wally)

He is one of the most beautiful people I  know. He has known defeat, known struggle, known loss, and has been able to find his way out of the depths.

These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. 

So today, I’ll be sharing ten things I’ve learnt from Walo within the course of our friendship. 

1. You are worthy of God’s love. 

He told me that I should never think myself unworthy of God‘s love. This was something I already knew but something he reaffirmed. It’s easy when you sin or do something extremely wrong in your own eyes to feel terrible and feel like you are not worth the consideration. He taught me that you will always be worthy. He loved you before he knew you. One mistake isn’t going to change that. 

2.  Let go and let God. 

God knows who belongs in your life and who doesn’t. He knows what decision works best for you and what you shouldn’t do. Trust him in that he will never lead you amiss. 

3. Have a sense of humor. 

Laugh. Then laugh some more. Laugh a lot and crack jokes.  Pull pranks and sound those clapbacks.  Use a microphone for the people at the back if you need to. He has one of those very loud, weird laughs. I mean if he ever sat behind himself in a movie or something, he’d  probably lean over and tell himself to please shut up. Always laugh when you can. A merry heart works as good as medicine. 

4. Don’t lie to yourself. 

Don’t believe there is truth in the lies that you tell yourself. If you can’t be honest with other people,  be honest with yourself. 

5. Don’t push people away who want to help you for the right reasons. 


6. Drink Coke. 

Always. Enough said.


7. Don’t complicate things.

It’s funny how we complicate things just to avoid showing what we feel. Life is too short for drama.  


8. It’s okay to want to be alone.

You don’t always have “to people” especially if you are not up to it. It’s okay to want to crawl into your little hole and keep yourself company, to get away from people drama and focus on your “personal development”. 

9. Family and friends. 

Family and Friends are what nuture our lives and make them better. I’ve learnt that it is not in what you have in life but in who you have in your life. Having the right people can make an insurmountable situation worlds easier.

10. It’s okay to cry. 

You know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit. It’s okay to cry but you have to stop sooner or later to decide what to do. 

Well,  there you go. Ten things I’ve learnt from Walo and I hope you’ve learnt something too. 

Ignore the serious tone of this blog post,   he is a funny, lively if not slightly insane person. Oh, he is also a total drama queen. 

Over to you, what things have you learnt from your friends? 

Leave it below in the comment section. 

I hope to feature Walo on the blog a lot. Comment below if you’d like to that? 

P. S This blog post doesn’t contain a picture of Walo because he was giving me vague responses about giving me his pictures and I didn’t like the ones I had. I’ll update it if I eventually get a picture of him he 

a) likes or

b) doesn’t like but I will still use anyway.  

Until next time, 

Stay Remarkable 

Love,  Joe. 


2. 

I’

FEEL GOOD

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Listening to: Life is a Highway by Rascal Flatts. 

Hey Guys

Long time no see (virtually I mean).  

I hope y’all have been good.  

Of late, I’ve been feeling a bit down and I kept looking for that boost to get me back on my horse and add that spring back in my step. 

I’m not one to talk to people so more than half the time, I work through my moods myself.  

Of course, never  neglecting the healing power of Music and the Stars. 

So I downloaded some songs and created my ultimate feel good Playlist.  

They literally get me in the “Slide across the floor with socks and the remote control as your microphone vibe while also doing the twist,  Bob and the two fingers across the eye thing”  mood.  

Yes,  I am that girl. 

Here they are guys.  Obviously,  twist and shout by The Beetles has been on repeat. 

Have any feel good songs that help you shake off a mood? 

Please please leave them in the comments section.  

There nothing like too much music.  

I want it all.  

Extra tidbit: The picture I used as my background is of a fictional character off the A Court of Thornes and Roses series by Sarah J. Maas. Have you read the series?  If yes,  comment. I need me a fan girl partner. If you haven’t,  go read it and thank me later. 

(I am fond of digressing. Forgive me). 

Until next time, 

Stay Remarkable. 

Love,  Joe. 

One December Morning…

Life as I know It, Uncategorized

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…or was it night?

I’m not really sure at what time of the day I was born. But, I’d like to think I was born in the evening or night. I mean who wouldn’t want to be born at a time when the stars blanket the world in a never ending symphony of twinkling wishes.

(Okay, update: I just asked my mom now and apparently I was born at  two am. (Cue excited cheering from me and the “Are you alright ?”look from my brother). It is way cooler than being born at  nine pm or something. When the world was quiet and everyone was asleep, a beautiful baby girl was born. I imagine a  chorus rising as I was ushered into the world akin to Simba in the Lion King movie . )

But I digress.

I intend to, with this post, give you some basic facts about me and the personality that I am. Here goes:

  1. I’m a nineteen year old Nigerian girl and I live in the northern part of Nigeria. No,not Abuja. Move upwards a little. Again, not kaduna, either. Yes! there you go. Kano. ( and no, it’s not that bad)
  2. I have two best friends. One’s a girl named Reese and the other is my youngest brother David. Seeing as we hardly get around or anything, we have found mutual companionship  in watching YouTube videos and hot vocal videos on Instagram. We are more or less birds of a feather. I think, if I do say so myself,  he’s my protege.  I am training him in the ways of sarcasm and as my mother would say” bad life decisions.
  3. I can:
  • DRIVE:  The wheel of Sarcasm and Bad decisions
  • SWIM: across the sea of despair
  • DRINK: Coke, water, yogurt and my PRIDE

4. I cannot:

  •  Dance : to save my life
  • DRAW: Anything.  I can’t even draw a cup to look like a cup.

5. I love music. But I have a preference to foreign musicians because I can relate to                their songs

6. I kid you not, I am very awkward in social situations. I am the girl that suffers from            bouts of hyperventilation when i walk into a room full of people. I’m the girl that sit         at the far end of the hall nursing her bottle of cook and laughing at comedy skits.               The one that say”Fine , Thank you” to your “Whats the time?” when caught off guard.

7. I read anything, from school books to novels of any genre. I read books before they           become movies. The Faults in our Stars, Me before you, Paper Towns, Percy Jackson           and the Olympians, A Monster Calls, Everything ,Everything ? Yes, I’ve read them all.         So, you can trust I’m the one with the spoilers when I finally get dragged to the                   cinema.

8. Food is my favorite F word. The next being Friday (Of course)

9. I have the best conversations with myself in my head. I am my own psychologist, my        own critic , my own pep talk giver. You got this girl .Please don’t mess this up.

10. I’m a wallflower in transit. So, I intend to take you guys on my journey to less social          awkwardness via this blog. Receive recommendations on new things to try out and            blog about them as I do.

Like Stephen Chbosky wrote in The Perks of Being a Wallflower (Yes, I read that too):

“Enjoy it because it is happening”. “Standing on the fringes of life…offers a unique perspective. But there comes a time to see what it looks like from the dance floor”.

That’s entirely what I plan to do.

Until next time,

Stay Remarkable.

Love, Arleith.